


The Monster Within

by supreme_genius



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Biting, M/M, Marking, Sexual Content, drunk!Nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-09-05
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:37:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supreme_genius/pseuds/supreme_genius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A weekend away leads Nick and Monroe to deal with inner demons and confront their feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Grimm.  
> This is unbeta'd.

Nick POV

                Monroe and I decided to take a long weekend away. The both of us were in dire need of some time off. I’d worked a month straight without a single day off. I cashed in on some of the vacation time I’ve been saving up. Monroe finished up his orders and put word out that he’d be away for a few days. He suggested a cabin outside of town and I agreed. It’d be nice to get away, be outside, hang out with Monroe.

Monroe pulled up in front of the cabin and we grabbed our bags from the back. It was beautiful, especially with the leaves starting to change color. The air smelled fresh, like grass and cedar and rain. I followed Monroe inside. It was small and cozy. There was an eat-in kitchen, a small living room, and a mud room with a washing machine. He led me down the hall; there were three doors.

“You’re in the right, I’m in the left. Door on the end is the bathroom.” He ducked into his room and ditched his bag; I followed suit.

We went back into the kitchen to unload our food and the case of Guinness I’d surprised him with. He told me about the shed out back – it held fishing poles, hiking gear, tennis rackets, and other miscellaneous outdoorsy stuff. We made some plans to go fishing and maybe take a hike. We agreed there would definitely be some games of badminton and maybe a quick dip in the lake if it wasn’t too cold.

When we had everything settled, we decided on a game of badminton. It started slow, fun. Then as the game progressed, it got more and more intense. My shoulder was getting sore and my shirt was becoming sweat-soaked. Every time Monroe smacked the birdie, he made a soft sort of grunt, almost a growl. It grabbed my attention enough to distract me, letting Monroe gain another point toward victory. He started getting a little sweaty and lifted the hem of his shirt up to wipe off his forehead. _Oh_. I couldn’t rein in my thoughts and Monroe got one last point on me, leading him to victory. _Damn_!

After about an hour of him rubbing his victory in my face I suggested dinner. He tossed a few veggie burgers on the grill along with a couple sweet potatoes. I don’t really mind eating vegetarian, well, as long as Monroe was the one cooking. He’s a good cook; I really don’t even miss meat that much. His eggplant parmesan beat any veal parmesan I’ve ever had.

We put quite a dent in the case of Guinness and I started to wish I’d brought two. He challenged me to a game of 500 Rummy and, of course, my overly competitive nature wouldn’t let me refuse. There was some trash talking a few more beers. His face was all scrunched up – he was thinking, contemplating. There was this little wrinkle in his forehead that always presented itself when he was deep in thought. His tongue jutted out from behind his lips. I could feel my breath catch. _What is going on?_ Somehow I managed to collect my thoughts and see what he was up to. Three turns later and victory was mine this time!

I finally hit the bed sometime after two. I tossed and turned for a while; I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. I tried to focus on sleep but my mind kept drifting away, sneaking across the hall. Ok, so maybe I have a small crush or something on Monroe. That’s not weird. We spend a lot of time together. Proximity is one of the key factors in attraction. Maybe I’m just lonely; Juliette’s been gone a while. I sighed and just laid there until my thoughts finally calmed down, my eyes closed, and I drifted to sleep.

XXX

Monroe POV

                “Nick what’re you doing?” He was laying off the sofa upside down, legs against the back with his feet hanging over. His back lay on the cushion, head hanging off. His arms were folded over his chest.

                “Ya know, I have no idea.”

                “How’d you get like that?”

                He answered with a shrug.

                “Dude, how many beers have you had today?”

                Don’t know…four…five…”

                I sat down next to him and he turned his head to look at me. He stared at me with those wide grey eyes.

                “Monroe, I need a hug.” He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

                I shook my head, trying not to laugh. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” I moved behind the sofa, grabbed his arms, pulling him up, over, and off.

He swayed a bit before leaning back against the sofa, his hands fisted in my shirt. I wrapped a firm arm around his shoulders and led him down the hall. When I stopped outside his room he leaned back on the wall.

                “Still want that wolf hug.”

                I gave in, pulling him into a hug. I knew he’d been having a bit of a difficult time since Juliette left. When I went to pull back, he just held on tighter.

                “She could’ve left because of the secrets, the lies – solid reason. Hell, she could’ve left because she thought I was bat shit crazy – wouldn’t of blamed her. You know why she left? She thought I was fucking around.”

                “Oh.” I didn’t really know what to say. That would’ve been the last reason I’d expected her to leave.

                “I would never do that. I mean, yeah, I’ve thought about other people…but I’d never actually…”

                “I know, man. You’re a good guy. She was crazy to have left you.”

                He looked up at me with big puppy-dog eyes. His hands were on my shoulders, pulling himself up. Then his lips were on mine. Had I not been in shock I would’ve kissed him back. By the time my brain processed what was happening, he was pulling away and beginning to freak out. I couldn’t get a word in between each “Oh my god” and “I’m sorry.” Just as I opened my mouth to tell him it was okay, he ran into his room and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

                “Nick, come out of there.”

                “Go away!”

                “Nick…please…”

                “No! I’ve ruined everything and now you hate me, too!”

                “Nick, I could never…” I couldn’t bear to finish. I placed my hand on the door, as if it was one his shoulder and I was trying to sooth him. “Nick…” Finally I gave up and locked myself in my own room.

XXX

Nick POV

                I’d finally fallen asleep, though only for an hour or two. When I woke up, the cabin was oddly quiet. I checked the time; it was almost midnight. I slowly opened the door, poking out my head. Monroe’s door was shut, there wasn’t even a hint of light sneaking out from underneath; he must be asleep.

                I made my way down the hall, leaning against the wall for support – I was still a little buzzed. I walked into the living room and over to the recliner where Monroe’s flannel was haphazardly tossed over the arm. I picked it up, held it close, hugged it. It smelled like him. You didn’t need a blutbad’s heightened sense of smell to notice how good he smelled. I pulled on the flannel and walked outside.

                I paced the deck a few times, breathing in the cool, fresh air. Leaning against the railing, I looked down at the lake. It was a beautiful sight – the lake reflecting the night sky. I stumbled down the path to the dock, walking out to the end. I wrapped my arms around myself, fighting the chill; the air was colder rolling off the water. Suddenly it all just hit me. _What did I do?_

                Juliette had left thinking that I was screwing around with Monroe, when the truth was he didn’t even want me. I really started to analyze my friendship with Monroe; the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that maybe I _had_ cheated. Not physically, but emotionally. I did spend a lot of time with him; he was the only one I could share the details of my Grimm life with. He knew pretty much everything about me there was to know. He knows what I’m afraid of, about the nightmares, the one movie that makes me cry, what I wanted to be when I was five – he knows it all. I guess that was intimate in a way and if that counts, then I’ve been cheating since the first beer we shared.

                I stood on the dock, staring down at a shaky reflection in the water. The eyes looking back were dark, ominous. The face was mine, but it wasn’t. I stumbled back, tripping over my own feet, and fell on my ass. I just laid there, unsure if I should laugh or cry. I looked up, eyeing the millions of stars, and suddenly I felt so small, insignificant. Everything was becoming overwhelming. I closed my eyes, I could hear Monroe yelling my name; _he must be looking for me_. I should get up, go inside. I don’t. I can’t. So I just laid there, unable to move even an inch. The world was spinning and any light of hope was slowly fading away.


	2. Chapter 2

Monroe POV

I paced the room at least half a dozen times before I shed my clothes – trading in a flannel and khakis for pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt – and flopped into bed. I screwed everything up. What was so hard about saying “yeah, Nick, I like you, too?” _What an ass_. He hates me now; I probably just lost my best friend. I stared at the wall, as if somehow I could see through it, right to where Nick was. He was upset and all I wanted to do was hug him, comfort him. I can’t; I did that to him.

As I laid in bed I started thinking about my early days living the reformed life. It was hard, but it wasn’t. Deciding to reform is hard – it goes against the very nature of a blutbad. I was never really all that wild, but I wasn’t exactly a puppy-dog. It was a struggle at first, mainly just because I felt so alone. When my mother voiced her disappointment and declared that she didn’t have a son…well, I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. When I finally managed to shut my eyes and start to doze off, one particularly bad day – from early in my reformation – haunted my thoughts.

_The autumn air nipped my skin as I sat on the porch; book in one hand, coffee in the other. As I skimmed the page, I took in a deep breath; something tickled my nose. I looked up without raising my head and was met by a blur of red. The local ladies track team was jogging down the sidewalk, clad in red shorts. A low growl rumbled deep in my chest. I knew my eyes were growing crimson. I tried to turn my focus back to the book, keep the wolf under control, but the wolf didn’t like its new-found cage. I ran inside, slamming the door behind me. I paced the living room, circling. The room started spinning. It shouldn’t have been that hard – it was just a dozen women running down the street in red shorts. Red. I grabbed one of the clocks off the mantle and launched it across the room, shattering both the clock and the mirror it hit. That was the last thing I remember from that night._

_The next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed, naked, sore, dazed. I was greeted with the harsh sting of reality. The bed sheets were torn, lamps were broken._ _The bathroom mirror had a crack spanning the length. The kitchen contained the fractured remnants of some dishes. The living room was, by far, the worst. There were clocks littering the floor, all destroyed beyond repair. Splintered pieces of my favorite cuckoo-clock lay in an ugly pile in the middle of the floor._

_I’d just made it to the bathroom when I started retching. Stomach acid burned my throat and I was pretty sure there was nothing but air left in my stomach by the time I sat back, leaning against the tub. My head began throbbing; I barely managed to make it to my feet. I reached for the medicine cabinet, in search of some aspirin, when I caught sight of myself in the mirror._

_I eyed the reflection. “I’m a monster.”_

_It wasn’t the first time I’d felt like that and I knew it certainly wouldn’t be the last._

I couldn’t take the thoughts anymore; I crawled out of bed and slowly exited my bedroom. I noticed Nick’s door was open but he wasn’t inside. I made my way to the kitchen; he wasn’t there either. When I noticed that the back door was open my heart sank. _No_. I rushed outside, on to the deck. Eyes red, I scanned the woods, looking, searching. I did my best to pick up his scent. I followed my nose down the path and then I saw him.

He was sprawled out on his back out on the dock. _Oh god_. I ran down the path, onto the dock, and fell to my knees beside him. He was pale, his eyes were closed. There was no blood, no visible scratches or bruises. I leaned closer to him, ear pressed to his chest; he was still breathing. I picked him up and made my way back up the path, carrying him inside.

I laid him in bed and tugged off his boots. _How did I not notice that?_ He was wearing my flannel shirt. _Why?_ I pulled the blankets up over him, tucking him in. I sat next to him, my back leaning against the headboard. I pushed a piece of dark hair from his face. He looked peaceful when he slept.

“What were you doing?” I whispered, contemplating all the reasons why he was laying out on the dock. I sighed. “Did I chase you away?”

 

Nick POV

                I felt warm, comfortable; I knew I wasn’t lying on the dock anymore. When I opened my eyes there was Monroe. I was in bed, still wearing his flannel; he was leaning against the headboard, arms folded across his chest, head cocked to the side, eyes closed. I watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. He must have found me down there and brought me back inside. _Oh, Monroe_.

                “You’re always gonna come to my rescue, aren’t you? Even when I fuck up.”

                His nose twitched and he grumbled. I thought he’d heard me but he seemed to still be asleep. I rolled out of bed, doing my best not to wake him up. I left the room, shutting the door behind me, and walked into the bathroom. I groaned when I caught sight of myself in the mirror.

_What a sight for sore eyes. You’re a mess. Why are you wearing that flannel? He’s your friend, nothing more. But he went looking for me, obviously. He found me and brought me back. He stayed with me all night. Yeah, because he felt bad. He’d have a guilty conscious leaving you out there. Easy prey – that’s what you are. It would’ve been so easy for him to leave your piss-drunk ass out there, let the big bad monsters rid their world of the baby grimm. FUCK!_

I tore the flannel off and tossed it aside. I fought with the rest of my clothes, tugging and pushing at uncooperative fabric. _Just get off me_. Finally everything was off. I don’t know why I thought it’d make me feel better; it didn’t. Standing in the shower, water too hot, I leaned against the far wall, slowly sliding down. Head leaned back, jaw clenched, I slammed my fists to the ground. _Pity. That’s how he feels about you. That’s why he went after you. He pities you. Poor baby grimm has no idea what he’s doing. Stupid!_

 

Monroe POV

                I woke up with a huff. Realizing Nick was, yet again, missing I growled. _What is his problem?_ My ears perked up when I heard the shower running. _Oh, ok_. A breath of relief. I laid in bed, expecting Nick to walk out of the bathroom any minute, but he didn’t. Panic started to set in again. _This guy is gonna put you in an early grave._ I jumped out of bed, walked to the bathroom door, and just listened. I couldn’t quite pick up his smell, so he was definitely still in the shower.

                “Nick, you okay in there?” I banged on the door. No answer. “Nick!” When he still didn’t answer, I gave the door a quick shove and stumbled forward into the room.

                He was sitting in the tub, head in his hands. I walked over to the tub and turned off the water – which was scolding, explaining his reddened skin. Grabbing a towel, I sat on the edge of the tub. He looked up, eyes bloodshot and dull grey. I could tell he wanted to say something but was holding it back. I handed him the towel and stood up.

                “Come on, dry off. I’ll make us some pancakes.” I turned and walked out into the kitchen. I should’ve said something else, told him thinks were okay. I sighed and turned back around. The bathroom door was open and Nick’s door was closed. _Good_.

 

Nick POV

                I poked around the room for a bit before throwing on old jeans and a plain t-shirt. When I opened the door I found one of Monroe’s flannels hanging on the handle. _Wait, could Monroe…nah_. I pulled the flannel on – it was a little chilly – and walked out into the kitchen.

                Monroe was standing over the small stove top, pouring pancake batter into a pan. He always moved so meticulously in the kitchen, a purpose to every step. Me, I bounce around the kitchen, impatiently waiting for my food to cook. I threw meals together with whatever I had, whereas Monroe planned his meals. I guess that kind of applies to the other aspects of our lives. Monroe always liked to plan, make lists, weigh his options. I’m impulsive and rush in to almost everything. He’s neat and organized and I’m kind of a slob. What was I thinking? Two people as different as we are could never work. There’s also the most obvious reason: blutbad and grimm.

                “Breakfast should be ready in a few. Coffee’s done, though, if you want.”

                “Huh?” I hadn’t realized I’d zoned out.

                “The coffee – it’s done, if you want some.”

                “Oh, ok, yeah.”

                “You mind fixing mine?”

                “No problem.”

                I fixed two mugs of coffee and set them on the table about the same time Monroe brought over the pancakes. I sat down, avoiding eye contact, and dug right into my breakfast. Monroe’s pancakes were the best hangover cure in existence, but as I ate I couldn’t help but think about the conversation I knew we were about to have. _Might as well dive right in_.

                “We need to talk, don’t we?”


	3. Chapter 3

Monroe POV

                I just about choked on my coffee; I hadn’t expected Nick to be the rational one of us right now. I set down my mug. “Yeah, we should probably talk.”

                “First, I really need to apologize for the, uh, dock situation. That was really stupid.”

                “Yes, it was. Do you know how scared I was? You can’t do that, man! What were you thinking?”

                “I wasn’t.” His head was hung low; he obviously did feel really bad.

                “Obviously.” I just glared at him. _Damn it_ , I wanted to yell at him and hug him at the same time. “You’re lucky _I_ was the one who found you. There are other wesen around here, just across the lake. Nick, if one of them found you…”

                He looked at me with those stupid puppy-dog eyes of his. “Monroe,” his voice softened, “I’m really sorry. I was drunk and a mess. I was scared I’d fucked up our friendship. I don’t want to lose you, I _can’t_ lose you.” He traces the rim of his mug with one finger. “I guess I just wanted not to feel, for just a minute. I’ve been so overwhelmed. I just…needed a break, from life.”

                Now I just wanted to hug him. I’ve been there, been really close to taking that break. And, for the first time in a long while, I was really glad I never did. “Nick – ” My voice cracked and I had to stop. It was a while before either of us spoke again.

                “I’m also sorry for this morning…in the bathroom. That was embarrassing to say the least. Hadn’t really expected you to break down the door.”

                “I didn’t break it down. I just, uh, gave it a firm push.”

                “Still…”

                “We all have a point where we break. I know that better than you’d think.” Again, there was another long stretch of silence.

                “And, of course, I’m sorry for…you know…”

                “Don’t be.”

                “But, Monroe, we’re friends. I don’t want to mess that up.”

                “You know what? I’m sick of being your friend! I like you, Nick, a lot! I’d have told you that last night if you’d given me the chance.”

                “But you…”

                “…were in shock. I hadn’t expected that, at all.” I rubbed the back of neck and looked down at my plate. “I was starting to give up hope. I mean, I never expected the feelings to be mutual, but…I always hoped they were.” I stood up and went to pour myself another mug of coffee. I turned, leaning against the counter, and looked at him.

                “I…I don’t even know what to say.” He frowned. “Never really expected to get this far.” He stood, walking towards me.

When he was just shy of a foot away, I stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. Our faces were mere inches apart.

 

Nick POV

                “Monroe, I can’t.” I stepped back, his hand falling from my shoulder.

                “But – ”

                “It’s not fair, to _you_.”

                “What are you talking about?”

                “If we were to get involved, somehow make this work…” I sighed. “…you were scared last night, when I wasn’t here, when you found me on the dock. You said so yourself.” I stopped; guilt punched me in the chest again. “In the long run, you’ll get sick of me, of having to live a life with me and the shit I’ll, no doubt, put you through. There would be a lot of nights that I’m going to be late for dinner, a lot of mornings that I’ll be gone before breakfast. There will probably be times when I’d get home after you’ve gone to bed and when I’m gone before you get up. I’m a cop _and_ a Grimm. Each is chaotic enough on its own, never mind being both. I’m gonna come home bloody and bruised. Hell, I might come home with stitches or a cast. More often than not, I’ll smell like other people, other wesen. Dude, the reapers beat you up just for helping me, for being my friend. I don’t even want to imagine what they’d do if you were _dating_ me. I can’t do that to you, Monroe.” I turned away, wiping away the tears building in my eyes. I jumped when I felt his hand back on my shoulder.

                “I never kept Cheetos around before I met you. I never drank Folgers. I’d never seen _Star Wars_. The dresser in my guest room holds your clothes. You have a toothbrush in the bathroom. Your scent is all over my house. Your coat is in the hall closet next to mine. I stopped buying microbrew in favor of Guinness. We eat take out once a week. You wake up here more often than not. I used to have a routine, at least I thought I did. But now, I’ve realized that I was just in a rut. Nick, you’re already a big part of my life. I already worry about you. I’ve bandaged your war-wounds. Shit, man, I could probably claim you on my taxes! Fuck the reapers! I didn’t back down then; I’m not backing down now.”

                “Monroe…”

                “Nick.” His voice held a mocking tone.

                “What if you do get sick of me? I don’t want to lose you. I…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

                “I’m not gonna get sick of you – I haven’t yet.”

                “But you _will_ …everyone does.”

                “I’m not everyone, and you know that.” He was adamant. “I’m not gonna run, not gonna give up.”

                I stepped towards him, leaned into him, head resting against his chest. When he wrapped his arms around me I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment. For the first time, I really felt like I belonged, like I had a home. I felt loved. 


	4. Chapter 4

_Not much changed for Nick and Monroe when they start officially dating. They still spent the majority of their free time together, still ate dinner together more often than not. The only real difference was where Nick slept when he spent the night._

_A month after their weekend away, Nick’s house went on the market and he bought a small apartment. He couldn’t quite afford his big house on his own, but on the plus side, his apartment was only a five minute walk from Monroe’s house._

XXX

Monroe POV

                I woke up with a huff; Nick always managed to end up sleeping _on_ me instead of _next to_ me. I gave him a soft shake and he mumbled something at me.

                “Hey, sleeping beauty, you’re crushing me. You mind moving over a bit?”

                He mumbled something else and wrapped his arms around me more tightly. He began to nuzzle my neck and, as usual, I gave in. I wiggled around until he wasn’t crushing me quite as much. It was nice to just lie in bed with him. He had a few days off from work and I didn’t have any commissions to work on, just a three o’clock meeting with a client. Eventually I’d get up and do an hour of Pilates; Nick would get up and go for a jog. I’d shower before he got back and make breakfast while he showered. It was remarkably easy integrating Nick into my routine.

XXX

Nick POV

                “Okay, I’m going to meet Rosalee to talk about her clock. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’m sure I’ll be home for dinner.” Monroe leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. “We can order take-out tonight. I’ll see you later.”

                I watched him walk out the door and drive away. _Good, time to get to work!_

I got to work making dinner: vegan burritos with homemade tortilla chips and salsa. Monroe wasn’t the only one who could cook. I walked out to my car and grabbed the bottle of ’78 Bordeaux I’d hidden last night.  I knew he loved it and would find it if I tried to hide it inside.

                My phone rang just as I lit the last candle. It was Rosalee.

                “Hey, Rosie.”

                “Hey, Nick. He just left.”

                “Good. Gives me another…15 minutes. Perfect! Thanks!”

                I went back to fiddling with the finishing touches. I poured the wine, set the table, and smoothed the wrinkles from my sweater.

I greeted Monroe at the door, exchanging his coat for a kiss.

“What’s all this?” He kicked off his boots and set down his tool kit.

“I made you some dinner; just a little something special. You’re always patching me up, taking care of me, putting up with me…”

He smiled and I lead him to the table. His eyes were wide as he took in everything.

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I’m a man of many talents, Monroe.”

XXX

Monroe POV

                Nick served up double chocolate cake for dessert. I was surprised, to say the least, that Nick had gone through all this trouble. Usually I was the one to cook meals; Nick mostly ordered take out or made frozen pizza when we were at his place.

                “Thanks for dinner.”

                “You’re more than welcome.” He leaned up and kissed my cheek.

                “Cake’s good, too.”

                “Recipe was from Food Network.”

                I could help but laugh a little.

                I helped him with the dishes; he washed and I dried. We settled in on the sofa afterwards and watched Rear Window – my favorite. I was starting to get more than a little suspicious…homemade dinner and dessert, special wine, my favorite movie. _Hmm…_ I shrugged it off and refocused my attention back on the movie. I wiggled around a bit, trying to get comfortable, which was hard since Nick _really_ liked using me as his own personal body pillow.

                About halfway through the movie, Nick’s hands began to wander. He played with the hem of my shirt, the buttons of my sweater, and then grabbed my hand, tucking it close to his chest. By the time the credits started rolling, his hips were pressed against mine and he was staring down at me, eyes wide. He dipped his head, kissing me far too quickly before moving his lips to my neck.

                “So…I’ve been reading the blutbaden book…”

                “Mhm…”

                “Count to one hundred, then come upstairs.” Nick slides off my lap and disappears upstairs.

                _One…two…three…four…_ It felt like I was waiting forever. _Fifty-seven…fifty-eight…_ I could hear him walking around in the bedroom; he flipped down the bed sheets. The scent of lavender wafted downstairs, candles maybe. _Ninety-eight…ninety-nine…one hundred…finally!_ I ran upstairs and made my way down the hall. The scent of lust – of Nick – hit me like a freight train.

                I stood outside the bedroom, toes still behind the threshold. I was pretty sure I felt my jaw hit the floor. Nick was sprawled out on the bed, back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. I’d never noticed before – with Nick being quite a bit shorter than me – just how long his legs were. An involuntary whine slipped passed my lips. He was clad in just a crimson pair of boxer-briefs. He grinned at me, practically pulling me in the room with those puppy-dog eyes of his. _Bastard_.

                “You gonna keep me waiting?” Nick’s voice was low, wanton.

                I lunged towards the bed, pouncing on him. It wasn’t long before my clothes hit the floor and our bodies were pressed together, skin on skin. My hands couldn’t touch enough, lips couldn’t kiss enough. I wanted more of him, _needed_ more of him. My lips covered as much of him as I could manage, planting kisses over his collarbones and shoulders. I felt him tremble, just barely, beneath me. His hands stroked my sides as he arched his back, pressing his hips to mine. He cocked his head to the side, exposing the delicate skin at the junction of neck and shoulder. My breath hitched.

                “Let me see you,” he whispered.

                I looked down at him; I could feel the red seeping into my eyes. He pressed his hips up against mine again and cocked his head more. _Sonofabitch_. I couldn’t take it anymore. My lips met his neck. I kissed and nipped, rough, leaving little love marks. Nick’s breathing hastened and he moaned; my ears perked up. His hands gripped my forearms, nails leaving little, barely-there, crescent-shaped marks.

                “D-do it…” His voice was husky; it went right to my groin.

                “Hmm?” I could barely focus.

                “Bite me.”

                He knew what he was doing the entire time; from the sofa, to the red boxer briefs, to baring his neck. While I pressed a few kisses to his neck I grabbed one of his hands, entangling our fingers together.

                “You’re sure?” I asked, whispering.

                “Mhm.” He nodded.

                My mouth hovered over the junction of neck and shoulder, teeth barely grazing skin. I paused, listening to the steady beat of Nick’s heart; I took a deep breath. I bit down, teeth breaking the delicate skin, the tang of blood filling my mouth. Nick squirmed a little and squeezed my hand harder. I worried the mark and he started to relax. When the bleeding subsided I nuzzled his neck then pulled him into a kiss.

                I liked kissing Nick, it wasn’t forced or rushed. We could go on forever and there was never any fighting for control. With Angelina, things were always a mess, a fight. With Nick, things could be slow; it was about being together, being close, being intimate. There didn’t have to be shreds of clothes littering the floor or broken lamps. It wasn’t a struggle with him. Things were effortless.

Nick POV

                The pain was slowly fading; Monroe’s kisses were soothing. I hooked my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He pressed his hips down against mine; I moaned his name. My hands were on his shoulders; I tried to pull him as close as I could. I wanted him closer, _needed_ him as close as I could get him. Our lips met, kissing hungrily, tongues dancing eagerly. He ran his hands down my chest and I arched up into his touch. He kissed down my chest, stomach, his beard tickling in the best possible way; my hands fisted in the sheets.

                His mouth moved lower, lips brushing over my dick. For a second I went breathless. He licked the underside, base to tip. When he sucked at the head I could bite back the _fuck_. A shiver ran through my body. His hands were monstrous, covering my hips. I managed to prop myself up on my elbows so I could watch him, his head bobbing up and down. He looked up at me, eyes a deep crimson color, and grinned, lips still around my cock. He sucked harder and wrapped his hand around the base. I tossed my head back, trying to buck my hips up, but his hands held me firmly in place.

                He pulled away; I whined at the loss of the wet heat of his mouth. He moved back up my body a bit, head level with my chest. I hadn’t realized what he was doing until one of his hands slipped under me. _Oh_. He pressed one finger in, taking his time. _Fuck! So good!_ He was littering kisses over my chest when he added a second finger. I threw my head back and moaned his name. I was vaguely aware of him growling – a happy growl, I think. He added a third finger and I could barely stand it – I just wanted him in me. Now.

                “M-Monroe…please…” I grabbed at his shoulders, trying to pull him closer.

                He laid between my legs, which I wrapped around him snugly. He pushed in, slowly, not stopping until he was completely in. I leaned up to capture his lips in a hungry, passionate kiss. He thrust in again, stealing my breath. Each thrust of Monroe’s hips sent me further away from coherent thought. Feeling his weight baring down on me, his hips pressed against mine, chest pressed against mine was almost too much; the feeling of skin on skin was electric.

                He rocked into me, cock pegging my prostrate each time. A light layer of sweat started to cover my body; I wrapped my arms around him. As I started getting closer I drug my nails down his back. I wrapped my legs around him more tightly and he thrust deeper, harder. When I tossed my head back, he dipped his head down and covered my neck with his lips. My cock was pleasurably caught between our bodies.

                His thrusts started to become sporadic and I knew he was getting close. A low growl emanated from deep in his chest; I could feel the vibrations travel through my own chest, deep into my core. I couldn’t hold back anymore; I called out his name as I came. My hands gripped his shoulders so hard my knuckles turned white. His thrusts slowed, but became deeper. I could feel a whine building in my throat; it slipped passed my lips. Monroe growled, especially feral and wanton. His thrusts slowed, then stopped. He pressed his lips to mine, kissing gently.

                We laid together, quite, content, in pure lovers’ bliss. I tucked myself against his side, one arm over his chest, holding on tightly. I kissed his chest, his shoulder, his neck. I put my mouth to the crook of his neck, teeth barely touching skin. I felt him flinch. He was probably shocked that anyone in their right mind would put their mouth, their teeth, to the neck of a blutbad. I think sometimes Monroe forgets that I’m maybe not in my right mind. I bit down, gently, not breaking skin, just enough to tell him he’s mine. I felt him relax and I let go; he turns and pressed a kiss to my forehead. _And I’m all yours_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who read.  
> I hope you all enjoyed it.  
> Now, on to the next fic!


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